Paper 3

Homoerotica:
Allen Ginsberg and His Description of His Loves
Nineteen fifty’s America was a socially ignorant time. Where people of color, homosexuals, and anyone else considered to be, a minority had to fight for their right to live freely in a land that was already theirs. A country founded on the principles of equality and freedom found itself in a decade of segregation and hate. A few people had the heart to point out these injustices. Clearly, Allen Ginsberg was one of those few. A long time latent homosexual, Ginsberg finally embraces his minority status in his poem “Many Loves”. In this work, Allen Ginsberg’s description of his erotic night with Neal Cassidy gives us an identifiable insight into the emotions, the thoughts, and desires of one America’s greatest poets.
Unfortunately, many people view homosexual relationships as somehow different from that of a heterosexual couple. They see two gay men and imagine their relationship to be based purely on raw sexual urges and physical desires. Ginsberg clearly shows this not to be the case by explaining his equal attraction of the physical and the mental. This intrinsic passion can be seen immediately in the first line of the poem where Ginsberg recollects “Neal Cassidy was my animal: he brought me to my knees and taught me the love of his cock and the secrets of his mind” (164). He gives equal importance to the love of cock and mind in this sentence. However, he does not stop there he reiterates the point halfway through by writing, “Thus I met Neal & thus we felt each other’s flesh and owned each other bodies and souls” (165). His description of Neal’s character is never far behind his description of Neal’s body. In fact, he often blends the two together. He starts with physical: “and his middle torso narrow and made of iron, soft at my back, his fiery firm belly warming me while I tremble” (164). However, he immediately transitions to a poetic description of Neal’s character and sorted past, through the same body part- his stomach.
“His belly of fists and starvation, his belly of a thousand girls kissed in Colorado/his belly of rocks thrown down over Denver roofs, prowess of jumping and fists,/his stomach of solitudes,/ His belly of burning iron and jails affectionate to my side:” (164).
A little later in his erotic escapade, he uses similar descriptive techniques when recounting Neal’s ass. Again, he initiates the narrative with images of Neal’s physicality, “I first touched the smooth mount of his rock buttocks, silken in power rounded in animal fucking” (165). Then he immediately transitions into the metaphysical world that lives in Neal’s ass:
“O ass of long solitudes in stolen cars, and solitudes on curbs, musing fists/cheek/ Ass of a thousand farewells, ass of youth, youth’s lovers,/Ass of a thousand lonely craps in gas stations ass of great painful secrecies/ of the years/O ass of mystery and night! Ass of gymnasiums and muscular pants/ ass of high schools and masturbation ass of lone delight, ass of mankind, so/ beautiful and hollow, dowry of Mind and Angels,/Ass of hero, Neal Cassidy, I had it in my hand…” (165).
Tormented Ginsberg, tormented by the memories of a malfunctioning mother longed for the love of someone that could understand him. He desired the approval of a like-minded lover, someone who cared for him as much as he cared for them. He was willing to be submissive and willing to take whatever Neal would give him. He accurately portrays that moment of other acceptance when he writes:
“I began to tremble, he pulled me in closer with his arm, and hugged me long/and close/my soul melted, secrecy departed, I became/Thenceforth open to his nature as a flower in the shining sun” (164).
Ginsberg was fed up; tired of hiding. He was willing to do what it took to feel love. He shows this when he writes:
“[I] made then and there my master, and/bowed my head, and holding his buttock/ Took up his hard-on and held it, feeling it throb and pressing my own at/his knee & breathing showed him I needed him,” (166).
In a confusing age of homophobia and fear, Ginsberg found a man he could love and trust with his heart.
What makes this such a poignant poem is Ginsberg’s amazing use of imagery in words. When reading his memories of this night it isn’t difficult to have a tangible, understanding of what he is feeling physically and sensing emotionally. When Ginsberg describes feeling Neal, and “his heart slow thudding against my back” (164), the reader can sense the same pulse. Anyone who has ever lain naked with a lover can bring themselves to feel what Ginsberg feels when he states, “Our bellies together nestling, loins touched together, pressing and knowledgeable each other’s hardness” (165). I find these statements even more intense after realizing that Ginsberg wrote this poem at the age of thirty, nearly an entire decade after this “love match” (165) occurred. These feelings and memories were as intense to Ginsberg as the night it happened. So much so, that his words resound with the similarity of a friend telling you of last nights events.
Although, only one of many, this writing pays tribute to a man that made Ginsberg feel alive. Leaving this world almost at the age of 71 he lived a life full of personal journeys and unforgettable moments. Even though it was a love faded not to last, the relationship Ginsberg had with Neal Cassidy was one of the many colorful threads that filled the tapestry of his life. Neal was one of Ginsberg’s many moments. He was one of his many loves.